Some books entertain, some inform and some change the way you think. Of the latter, Richard Sennett's, The Fall of Public Man (Alfred A. Knopf, 1976) was singularly important for me. The gist of his thesis is that prior to mid 19th Century there was a facility and ease with which people of different rank and station could talk to one another in a public space, for example, in shop, a park, or when travelling. The 18th Century picaresque novels of Laurence Sterne or Henry Fielding are characterised by these instances. These were encounters between perfect strangers which cultivated the civil society and spread a reassurance that all was well with the world. The actors in these mini-dramas were not conversing as exposed personalities rather as public persona. For example, in the neutral public space, the chimney sweep might talk to the architect, the gentleman to the labourer, the Lord to the publican without any embarrassment or suggestion of talking up or down. Not that the exchange was egalitarian was we might understand it, but that of individuals speaking from the dignity of their respective estates.
Sennett argues that around about the mid-century things changed. This was influenced by the effects of the Romantic movement with its emphasis upon inner enquiry and self-transformation. This change was subsequently influenced by the budding discipline of psychology, which culminated by the revolutionary impact of the ideas of Sigmund Freud. The theory of the unconscious and primaeval Id ended forever the naive notion of inner clarity and purpose. For the erstwhile 'public man' a fear developed that the unsolicited conversation of the stranger might be a prying into the inner psychological world. Soon there was hesitancy all round in the public space, a tendency to avoid eye contact and initiate conversation with a stranger.
I think this state of psychological vulnerability has become even worse in latter times. This is despite the faux friendship of social media which is usually conducted between cyber drones rather than real people. The pubic person as distinct from the private has almost ceased to exist. If a stranger initiates an exchange in a public space we worry about their ulterior motive and the risk that the veil might be penetrated over our sacrosanct inner private world.
I would like to see a return to the manners of public exchange. There is a proper style of address, demeanour and tone to initiate a public exchange. For instance, it helps to speak to the obvious outer man or woman rather than assume a pose of familiarity; after all seeking familiarity goes with knowing. Using a proper form of address without being pompous helps. It is notable how calling someone sir or madam puts them at ease. A dignified and pleasant tone is also important. One can also confer on people the worth and dignity of their calling no matter what the 'status' might be in our crude modern reckoning (what a shame that nurses stopped using uniforms).
